Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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