White coat. Heels.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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