dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
