shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Can Purell be used as lube?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
