Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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