six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
