What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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