So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
