there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
