it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
