I think I am morally bankrupt
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
