just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
