Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
