friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
