What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
