The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
