and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Two words: blizzard sex
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
