This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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