no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
