my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
