You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
