omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
