Are we in a gay sports bar?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
