I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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