i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
