Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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