this beer tastes like vomit already
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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