Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
