She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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