Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
