physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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