So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
