That's intense
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
