i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize