Buhtt sex?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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