Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
