the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
