ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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