I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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