Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
