Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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