if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
