i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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