My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
