New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also, beer. Big fan.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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