I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I AM VODKA MAN
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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