I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
