I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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