Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How does it feel to date your dad?
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