i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
ttyl tear gas
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
