Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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