mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize