I have demons in me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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