I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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