he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
