yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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