I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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