Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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