She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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