You just made me feel so damn special
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
