You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
